January 29, 2014
Dear Rachel,
Tonight you fell asleep on my shoulder. You're a strong,
inquisitive, independent 2-year-old, and it's been too long since I felt the
soft sighs of your restful breathing on my neck. I
didn't want to disturb your slumber. I just wanted to treasure the moment and feel the warmth of my
baby's trusting embrace.
We had a fun-filled day, celebrating Aunt Hope's birthday
at Walt Disney World. We ate dinner together at the Liberty Tea Tavern in the
Magic Kingdom. You asked to go to the bathroom about 5 times during dinner,
maybe because the bathrooms in this particular restaurant were upstairs, and it
was quite entertaining to go up and down the stairs.
As we descended the staircase after one such trip to the
bathroom, you insisted on walking down the steps all by yourself. You said,
"No, I'm big girl" as you pushed away my hand. I kept my hand close
to yours so I could offer assistance if you needed it.
You beamed with pride as you grabbed the handrail (which
was almost out of your reach) and slowly stretched your white Velcro-top
sneaker down to the next step. Just before your toe touched the next step, you
became uncertain and began to lose your balance so you quickly reached for my
hand. The moment you touched my hand and realized I would catch you if you fell,
you pushed me away and again said confidently, "I'm big girl. I do it by
myself."
This process repeated itself about 12 times, on every
step down the entire flight of stairs. It took us a while, but with patience
and persistence, we made it downstairs safely.
As I observed our interactions on the staircase, I had a
moment of clarity:
Isn't that just like our walk with God?
- We want to do things our own way.
- We want to rely on our own strength.
- We want to do it by ourselves.
Then we lose our balance. We can't see the next step. We
become afraid and reach out for a hand to hold.
That's when God reassures us with His presence and His
guidance. He's always there for you, walking beside you, ready to catch you if
you fall.
In my life, I've made so many decisions relying on my own
strength. And I've experienced moments of deep discouragement, when I've
questioned everything. In those times, God has strengthened me with His
presence, and restored my confidence as His child.
You know the funny thing? Even as independent as you are
(typical for a 2-year-old little girl learning to do things for herself), you
still fell asleep on my shoulder tonight. There couldn't be a more trusting,
dependent posture than the one you assumed by sleeping on me. And in those
times - those precious times - you admit that you still need me.
Throughout your life, you may find yourself feeling alone
or struggling to find the next step. Always remember that God is with you,
holding your hand, and even carrying you when you're too weak to walk.
Trust Him.
He will never leave you. And He will give you strength
for the journey.
I love you so very much!!
Mommy
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