Friday, February 20, 2015
Saturday, December 20, 2014
December 19, 2014
Earlier this week, you and I had a conversation that I’ll never forget. You’re 4-and-a-half (although I feel like I just brought you home from the hospital… I swear I only blinked). You’re so full of life. Your energy and enthusiasm make me smile every day!
We needed groceries. Badly. So we hopped in the car and drove to Sam’s Club. It was one of those evenings when I didn’t have much time after work to make dinner, so we opted for pizza at Sam’s. After ordering a few slices of pepperoni pizza (you may only weigh 31 pounds, but you can put away an entire slice of Sam’s pizza by yourself), I sat down across from you and began cutting your pizza into little bite-size pieces.
You asked me how my day at work went.
By the way, that’s not typical for a preschooler. Most 4-year-olds are only interested in Dora the Explorer. Not you. You like to ask questions. You’re a relationship builder. You care about people’s thoughts and ideas, and you carry on conversations better than many teenagers I know.
So I started talking about my day at work. Advertising, marketing, strategic communications... and you listened politely. Then we talked about careers. We discussed a variety of things that grown-ups do to make a living. We talked about different professions, such as being a teacher, a scientist, a computer engineer, a chef, etc.
I asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up.
I was thinking you might say doctor, lawyer, or President of the United States. But you didn’t. Your answer was profound and perfect.
“I want to be a butterfly.”
I smiled at the honest simplicity of your response. At first, I thought you might be joking, but you were entirely serious. You knew with absolute certainty – and without hesitation – that you were going to be a butterfly when you grew up.
As you finished eating your pizza, I quietly pondered your matter-of-fact response. Tears of joy welled up in my eyes as I thought about what you said.
Butterflies aren’t born as butterflies. They start out as caterpillars. They crawl around slowly, learning about the world around them, growing day by day.
Then they create a chrysalis, cocooning themselves away for a time. Inside that cocoon, a wonderful transformation takes place. They grow wings. They change into a new creature.
As a butterfly emerges from its cocoon, it has to experience incredible pain. As it works to crawl out of the chrysalis, the pressure put on the butterfly’s wings is what enables it to fly. If the cocoon breaks, or someone assists the butterfly in its exit from the cocoon in order to make it easier, the butterfly may not be able to fly because its wings didn’t receive the necessary and life-giving pressure from the chrysalis.
Julia, you will be a beautiful butterfly when you grow up. You may experience times when you feel like you’re only crawling, but that’s an important part of the process. You’re learning about the world around you.
In life, you may encounter pain and pressure. Don’t be alarmed. It is for your benefit. That pressure is building in you the character you’ll need to fly.
Yes, Julia. You’re going to be a butterfly.
A stunningly beautiful butterfly.
And don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
I love you immensely,
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Matthew 6:25-27, 31-34
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Last week I was driving to work, sitting in traffic on US 29, when a lady going 50-60 mph slammed into the back of my car, effectively bending the steel frame and warping the entire body of my Expedition (which is basically a tank). Both vehicles were totaled at the scene of the crash.
As I screamed and my body was jolted from the impact, this verse instantly flashed through my mind:
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
It didn’t make any sense. Here I sat, stunned from this collision, writhing in pain, and yet God was speaking to my heart: Don’t worry about tomorrow. I will take care of you.
No Lord… I'm not worried about tomorrow. I’m worried about RIGHT NOW!
My car! My back! My budget! #ouch
I’m a planner. I like to have a plan laid out for things. Budgets, schedules, to-do lists – it’s all organized. And I wasn’t planning to buy a new car this month.
First world problems.
I tend to get worked up and worried about unforeseen circumstances or expenses. God knows that. He knows my insecurities. And at EXACTLY the right moment – in the midst of a traumatic accident – He encouraged my heart with those words: Don’t worry about tomorrow. I will take care of you.
He is faithful.
His words are true. Wherever you are today, whatever you're going through - God knows. And you can trust His word:
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.
God owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10). Every dollar in the world’s economy belongs to Him. And He will provide!
Whatever giants you're facing – whether it's sickness, a financial need, uncertainty, or just first world problems – God is with you. Even when you can’t see the next step, you can see the hand that’s leading you there, and that’s enough.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Rarely am I moved to tears by the circumstances of a complete stranger.
But reading the story of Ben Sauer has me completely baffled and broken.
· How could a loving, compassionate God allow a sweet 5-year-old boy to suffer and die from a cancerous brain tumor?
· In light of the support from his New York community and media coverage around the world, wouldn’t it have been better for God to miraculously heal this little boy, and show Himself strong on the child’s behalf?
· How do Ben’s parents find such strength? If my child was battling brain cancer, I’d be a complete basket case. But the Sauer family seems to be a pinnacle of grace.
In February 2014, Ben was diagnosed with a rare, inoperable brain tumor. Its growth would eventually impair his ability to walk, talk, and function as it spread to the areas of his brain that controlled those capabilities. He and his twin brother turned 5 on May 5th, 2014. Ben took his last breath on May 13th, 2014.
I’m not sure why this story hits close to home.
· Maybe it’s our mutual friends from New York who know the Sauer family.
· Maybe it’s the fact that my daughter recently had a traumatic hospitalization, but she was healed and will celebrate her 4th birthday next week.
· Maybe it’s just the familiar sting of pain when we experience loss while expecting a miracle.
Whatever the reason, my heart is heavy for the family of Ben Sauer.
I couldn’t imagine losing a child to cancer. My daughters are so bright and full of life, it just seems backwards to think of that. Why should an innocent child suffer? Isn’t that unfair? Doesn’t God want to bless His children with good things?
The truth is simple: God does bless us with good things. Ben Sauer’s life is a testament of that.
When Ben was born, God gave an undeserved miracle.
Every day that Ben lived, God gave an undeserved miracle.
In the news articles and prayers lifted by millions, God gave an undeserved miracle.
In the final hours of his life and his peaceful transition from this life to the next, God gave an undeserved miracle.
The problem with our human perspective is that we only see one piece of the puzzle. God sees the complete picture. He sees beyond the frailty of our limited understanding, and works all things together for good.
Imagine, for a moment, that you went to a restaurant for dinner. Sitting across the room, there was a white-haired gentleman dining alone. After you ordered and finished your meal, the waitress informed you that the white-haired gentleman paid for your dinner. You approached the man to thank him for his generosity.
“It is so kind of you to pay for my meal, but I really can’t accept it,” you said. However, he insisted, so you thanked him and left.
The next evening, you returned to the same restaurant for dinner. The white-haired gentleman was there again, dining alone. You ordered a meal and ate, and again, the man paid for your meal. Surprised, you expressed your gratitude and left.
You ate at that restaurant every night for 30 days, and every night, the man paid for your meal. After a while, it became routine. You just grew accustomed to the man’s kindness and generosity.
On the 31st day, you went to the restaurant for dinner and the gentleman was there. Only this time, he did not pay for your meal. He paid for another person’s meal.
How would you respond? Would you thank him for all the meals he supplied for you? Or would you hurl insults, blaming him for denying a blessing, questioning his goodness?
I am not entitled to a thing. I didn’t pull myself up by my bootstraps. I am where I am today because of God’s blessing on my life. His unmerited, undeserved favor is the only thing that sustains me.
When the time comes to cross from this life to the next - even in death - God’s goodness is real. We cannot earn His blessing. He blesses because that’s who He is. Goodness and mercy are His unwavering attributes. And His nature is the only thing that we can rely on to faithfully carry us in life and in death.
And if death comes sooner than we might anticipate, rather than question God’s goodness, why not just offer a simple prayer of thanks?
For Ben Sauer’s life, thank you, God.
For Ben Sauer’s new life in heaven, thank you, God.
For working undeserved miracles every day, thank you, God.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Was that coffee and breakfast pastry really worth $16.42?
Yes. Yes it was.
With a 5:29 a.m. flight, I needed it. Nevermind the captive-audience airport prices. I’m caffeinated and my blood-sugar is normalized. It was worth every penny.
The roaring hum of the jet engine outside my window creates a soothing ambiance for reflection. The in-flight Wi-Fi doesn’t seem to have enough bandwidth for the planeful of passengers using it, so I’m closing the reports and turning to my creative outlet – writing.
It’s funny how a little altitude can give you such perspective. It’s refreshing to get a birds-eye view of things as you fly over. Cities, rivers, mountains – even the Grand Canyon – seem so small from this height.
Isn’t that just like our lives? Our mountains can seem so big when we’re on the ground – in the midst of our troubles – looking up at the enormous tasks that lie ahead. But when we’re above the clouds, over the mist and the fog, a clear perspective can change everything.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all faced mountains that seem insurmountable. The invoice from the collections agency. The call from the principal’s office. The bad news from the doctor. Troubles that would almost crush us from the pressure.
I would submit that this concept of retreating to the skies should play a major role in our daily living. Our problems take on new meaning when we look at them from 40,000 feet.
Take yourself out of the situation for a moment. Put yourself in another person’s shoes. Think about the big picture. What does it look like from a high level? Where are you really headed?
It’s so easy to get bogged down in the details – or even just the day-to-day monotony. Get up. Get the kids ready for school. Get to work. Perform. Excel. Achieve. Get the kids from school. Get the kids to soccer. Be everything. To everyone. Repeat.
What does it mean in the long run?
You must understand that the little choices you make in your relationships and your daily interactions make a huge impact in the grand scheme of things. You’re touching people’s lives. Every moment. And that’s of eternal significance. Don’t waste it.
Success is determined by your character and relationships. Be faithful in the little things.
Taking time to refocus on your priorities gives a renewed sense of direction and purpose. Step aside for a moment. Pray. Realize that the circumstances in which you find yourself today will not always be the same.
You’ll get through this.
When all else fails, look up. Because it’s in those moments that you’ll find the strength you need to look forward.
Monday, February 3, 2014
January 29, 2014
Tonight you fell asleep on my shoulder. You're a strong, inquisitive, independent 2-year-old, and it's been too long since I felt the soft sighs of your restful breathing on my neck. I didn't want to disturb your slumber. I just wanted to treasure the moment and feel the warmth of my baby's trusting embrace.
We had a fun-filled day, celebrating Aunt Hope's birthday at Walt Disney World. We ate dinner together at the Liberty Tea Tavern in the Magic Kingdom. You asked to go to the bathroom about 5 times during dinner, maybe because the bathrooms in this particular restaurant were upstairs, and it was quite entertaining to go up and down the stairs.
As we descended the staircase after one such trip to the bathroom, you insisted on walking down the steps all by yourself. You said, "No, I'm big girl" as you pushed away my hand. I kept my hand close to yours so I could offer assistance if you needed it.
You beamed with pride as you grabbed the handrail (which was almost out of your reach) and slowly stretched your white Velcro-top sneaker down to the next step. Just before your toe touched the next step, you became uncertain and began to lose your balance so you quickly reached for my hand. The moment you touched my hand and realized I would catch you if you fell, you pushed me away and again said confidently, "I'm big girl. I do it by myself."
This process repeated itself about 12 times, on every step down the entire flight of stairs. It took us a while, but with patience and persistence, we made it downstairs safely.
As I observed our interactions on the staircase, I had a moment of clarity:
Isn't that just like our walk with God?
- We want to do things our own way.
- We want to rely on our own strength.
- We want to do it by ourselves.
Then we lose our balance. We can't see the next step. We become afraid and reach out for a hand to hold.
That's when God reassures us with His presence and His guidance. He's always there for you, walking beside you, ready to catch you if you fall.
In my life, I've made so many decisions relying on my own strength. And I've experienced moments of deep discouragement, when I've questioned everything. In those times, God has strengthened me with His presence, and restored my confidence as His child.
You know the funny thing? Even as independent as you are (typical for a 2-year-old little girl learning to do things for herself), you still fell asleep on my shoulder tonight. There couldn't be a more trusting, dependent posture than the one you assumed by sleeping on me. And in those times - those precious times - you admit that you still need me.
Throughout your life, you may find yourself feeling alone or struggling to find the next step. Always remember that God is with you, holding your hand, and even carrying you when you're too weak to walk.
He will never leave you. And He will give you strength for the journey.
I love you so very much!!
Saturday, January 25, 2014
At least, not in a deeply personal, life-altering way.
Ok, maybe some people do care that much.
But for most of us, while tabloids exploit the personal lives of these celebrities for sheer entertainment value, we move on with our lives as usual, because - quite frankly - the headlines just don't matter.
What difference does it make in my life? None.
Will pop culture impact my life for the better? Not likely.
Am I a better person for having kept up with celebrity gossip? Nope.
Let's be honest.
The people who make the greatest impact on your life aren't famous. They're not drawing attention from the media. They're not delivering a political speech, playing in the Super Bowl, or posing for cameras on the red carpet.
The people who make the greatest impact on your life are those who are closest to you.
The teacher who invests in you.
The boss who welcomes your ideas.
The coach who believes in you.
The friend who listens to you.
The spouse who loves you.
The children who make you laugh.
It's the people we spend our everyday lives with who truly make a difference. They share their hearts. They encourage us. They lift us up when we fall down. And they commit themselves to deeply loving the people around them.
My piano teacher was one such individual. I studied with him from middle school through college. He never gave up on me. He continuously encouraged me. He saw the best in me when I was ready to throw in the towel. And he pushed me to achieve more than I ever dreamed.
With his persistence - and the loving support of my parents - I chose to major in music. I wrote and recorded 4 albums before graduating summa cum laude from a highly competitive music program. He believed in me. And he was the kind of guy that wouldn't let me falter - even if it meant he had to hold my hand every step of the way.
He passed away unexpectedly eight years ago, well before his time. The very last time we talked, he spoke with the usual direct enthusiasm that I had come to know and love. These were his last words to me: "Don't you EVER quit singing and playing. You're too talented! Use those gifts, girl!"
THAT is the kind of power and impact we should all strive to have in the lives around us.
Be the encourager. Be the believer. Be the best friend.
Because someday when your friends and family look back and recall the relationships that have meant the most to them throughout life, they probably won't think of Justin Bieber. They'll think of you.
Dedicated to Scottt E. Sward
Aug. 24, 1962 - Jan. 25, 2006
Photo credit: MGOETZ/SPLASH NEWS